Saturday, January 1, 2011

on not wanting anything at all

So. Foster opened (or re-opened) the question: Is there maldistribution of substantive good? Well of course there is in material terms, but that's not what he's talking about. He's asking the question:

If I have more, do you have less?

We're talking about things like love, truth, beauty, happiness, and satisfaction. And even good luck. We're not talking about land, water, and pecuniary wealth.

Well, that's not quite what he was talking about, and he wasn't asking. He was talking about peasant mentality, and he thinks they're just plain wrong about this one.

So. I clearly have a peasant mentality in this regard. Or maybe I've just been thinking about Foster's work on the 'image of limited good' for far too long, and studied all this 'evil eye' stuff even longer.

To cut to the chase, I think I've had it good. Not perfect. But definitely good. Lots of good. Not goods. But good. The substantive kind. That would be relationships I would be talking about.

I will say this once. It's the New Year, after all. And the old year ended with this issue and I don't want it coming up again. I do not need to be 'fixed up' with anyone, thank you very much. It's thoughtful, it's sweet, but I am not a good candidate for the partner thing. I mean it. Stop and desist.

The reason: I have filled my quota of this particular good.

I know that sounds completely ridiculous in our culture. How could you not want something as glorious as a partner in life? And the answer is, I've done my dance already. And done a damned good job at it. And now it's someone else's turn.

Khalass. End of story. It's pretty simple really.

Apart from obligations that I have already signed on for, I am completely done. And those obligations fill me completely. They are exactly exactly what I want and cherish. Nothing and no one else is needed. I don't get to want anything more.

What I do get to do is to fulfill my obligations to the best of my abilities. And yes, I do use the word 'obligation' — and to me, that's a good thing. I like having responsibilities toward others. It's an honor to hold the commitments that I do have, rather than piling on commitments that I can't actually commit to.

So. Stop and desist, and let me count my blessings. And be grateful for all that I've got.

And here's to a year of commitments and obligations. And be grateful for the things that I'm not.


  1. Got it, in fact got it the very first time to told me maybe even before that. If all of those matchmakers have a itch to scratch - I'm still in the hunt, although the pool of potential partners differs greatly from the one they would be spelunking for you.

  2. It seems to keep coming up. Please note that I phrased the above very carefully: "Apart from obligations I have already signed up for" — which is a key point for me.

    As for you and yours? I find some of them quite compelling.